


all is fair in love and war

by kxrthxmmel



Category: Glee
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kxrthxmmel/pseuds/kxrthxmmel
Summary: kurt doesn't get into nyada. burt is there for him.
Relationships: Burt Hummel & Kurt Hummel
Kudos: 9





	all is fair in love and war

When Kurt walks through the door that evening, he knows.   
  
It’s like a rock in the bottom of his stomach that’s sinking, fast, when he looks up and sees Kurt stood there, a crumpled page in his hand that’s been clearly submitted to the abuse of his tight grip for so long.   
  
And Burt’s heart is absolutely aching when Kurt looks at him with those big blue eyes filled with tears and he smiles, actually smiles before his face crumples into something so much more worse.   
  
“Guess we can put off the post-it note clear out for now,” he tries to joke, to lighten the load Burt can only imagine is weighing right down on him currently.   
  
He can’t think of the words he wishes to say; he doesn’t know if there even is any - any words that will help ease the pain he can so clearly see etched into his child’s face.   
  
Instead he strides towards him and as he nears he hears him give a little hiccup, his fingers tremble and the letter in his hands shakes and Burt is there in an instant, closing the gap between them to wrap his arms around him, fitting so perfectly between his arms and chest that he doesn’t ever want to let go.

Kurt cries and Burt can only hold him and rub his back, hoping to god that he can’t hear how loud his heartbeat feels. He’s so angry and hurt and mad. He feels like if he lets go of Kurt now, he’ll just explode, screaming and raging at whatever entity lingers above them to j _ ust give his kid a damned break for once, please. _

Eventually the crying softens and he’s peeling himself away from his dad, rubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.   
  
“I’m proud of you, Kurt,” Burt tells his son, voice only a little bit wobbly as he looks up at him with bewilderment.   
  
“Dad,” his voice cracks, “I didn’t get in…”   
  
Burt sniffs. “I know,” he tells him. His hand rests on his shoulder, engulfing it with just his palm.   
  
God, he’s still so  _ little. _

“But you did it still, eh?” He tries to smile. “You got to try out. You showed that Madame Whats-Her-Face what you, Kurt Hummel are made of!”   
  
Kurt diverts his gaze away from his and drops his head down, giving a little sniffle.    
  
“Made of nothing, apparently.” He looks back up at his dad with more tears in his eyes. “I tried really,  _ really _ hard. I don’t know if I could ever do better than that… which means I might never ever get in.”

Burt feels his chest tighten with hurt for his son, the way his voice sounds so flat.   
  
“You did try hard. You worked your butt off. If anybody deserved to get in, it should have been you, Kurt.”   
  
His son blinks and more tears come rolling down his face, still so round and boyish and Burt so selfishly hopes that maybe it’ll stay that way forever, even when he’s growing and changing, getting taller and bigger, he’ll still be his tiny, little baby. He looks at Kurt and smiles. 

“And I know right now it feels hopeless and like the end of the world and I ain't gonna stand here and lie to you about the future, Kurt, because I think with you, it’s not worth my time trying to sprout some magical unicorn pep talk about getting back up and going for it.”   
  
Kurt hiccups again, mouth turned downwards into a frown, “Why not?” He asks through a sniff.   
  
Burt smiles at him, giving his shoulder a short squeeze. “Because I know you, Kurt. You know your own future. You always have done. I can’t make it any better for you and I can’t promise you anything but the fact that I will always be here to support and love you.”   
  
Kurt actually manages a small, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it smile that only has more tears dripping from his face.    
  
“You can try again next year. You can apply for something more local for the time being,” he suggests and Kurt looks down with a sigh. “Hey. Living the humble life before going big, that’ll be a good look in the Kurt Hummel autobiography!”   
  
Kurt shoots him a look before laughing and to Burt, it’s the most amazing thing.   
  
“I’m not sure community college is going to be the same as NYADA but I guess it’s something…” Kurt says with a shrug, his voice trailing off as he starts to get lost in his thoughts.   
  
“There you go!” Burt exclaimed excitedly, giving him a rough slap on the back that has the poor kid stumbling slightly. “And hey, on the bright side, you got me, Blaine for a bit,” he adds hoping that maybe that’ll be enough to soften the blow of New York being an arms reach away for yet another year.   
  
Kurt looks at him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Uh huh,” he frowns. “It just. Sucks, dad. It sucks.”   
  
Burt takes a breath. “I know, kiddo. It hurts when we don’t get what we want, even if we really tried hard for it. But I bet you and Rachel will be off to New York next year, having the times of your lives.”   
  
Kurt looks at him, something stormy brews behind his eyes and Burt knows his kid. He knows what he looks like when he’s a tad angry and a touch of jealous.

“Dad,” he croaks. “Dad, Rachel got in.”   
  
Burt balks for a moment as the words sink in. “She what?”   
  
Kurt swallows harshly and nods sharply, dropping his head down to inhale a shaky sounding breath. “She, uh, she got in. She’s going to New York. Without me.”   
  
Kurt looks back up at Burt and the same feelings from a few moments ago start bubbling back up inside him.   
  
How? He thinks. How did Rachel get in? Stumbling over the words, not once but twice? How did Rachel get into the school of their dreams, crying and begging for a spot when Kurt, his Kurt, had stood up on stage and done something real and wonderful.    
  
His grip on Kurt’s shoulder is tight enough for the boy to start to squirm slightly under his touch, and Burt eases up immediately.   
  
“Look, Dad,” Kurt starts with a shake of his head. “I’m not mad at Rachel, it’s not her fault. Please don’t be mad at her. It’s just how it is.”   
  
And there it is. There’s that same old Kurt that resurfaces every now and then.

The Kurt that Burt has seen so often. The Kurt that puts himself down for others. The Kurt that shrugs off the shrapnel of whatever explosion he’d found himself in the middle of, acting like it was nothing, when it was in fact, everything.   
  
It’s the same Kurt that stood in the tire shop and practically laughed off the fact that he’d received a call about his son being a fag. He hadn’t given too much thought about it because his son was so accustomed to the abuse that he was genuinely shocked to see how much it upset his father.   
  
The Kurt that constantly settles for less simply because the world around him had conditioned him to believe that that was the way it was going to be for him.

No solo for a girl’s song. No mercy from the bullies from school. No lead in the school play. No spot in the school of his dreams. 

And of course, Kurt pushes through all of it like a damn champ. But Burt wishes it would be different just once, to watch Kurt push and push and push and actually succeed.    
  
He has no idea how the kid keeps going, but he does it, baring battle scars of the emotion turmoil of each occasion, and it breaks Burt’s heart to watch his kid brush off each moment from his shoulders like he belongs to be in the rubble, when in reality, he deserves to be on top, like everybody else. 

“It isn’t,” he says gruffly, and Kurt blinks at him, shocked almost at his tone.   
  
“It isn’t just the way it is,” he continues with a shake of his head. “I won’t lie and say I’m mad that Rachel got in and you didn’t. I can’t do that, Kurt. I’m angry. But I know you’re going to get back up and keep fighting for this. And whatever battle you’re fighting; whatever brickwall you’re pushing through, Kurt, I’ll be there right beside you to back you up, no matter what.”

Kurt sucks in a shaky breath, looking up at him, eyes wide and glossy and god, he really does look like his mother.   
  
His small frame is suddenly colliding against him, wrapping his arms around his body as best he can, squeezing him so tight before he’s hugging him back, placing a kiss into his hair, letting his lips linger there as he breathes him in, closing his eyes to take him back to a time when he was much smaller, when it was just them against the world.   
  
And he has Carol now, and Finn, and Blaine, and Kurt has an army of weird kids in that damned glee club that he knows will have his back no matter what, and of course, it eases the pain a little, knowing that Kurt is loved, and that he surely can feel that love.   
  
But despite how many friends his son will make, or the boyfriend that is sweet on him, Burt knows that they have each other - father and son, a bond that will be forever untouchable.

And Burt would do anything and everything to keep it like that, no matter what.    



End file.
